Diary of Secrets
by igotthatboomboompow
Summary: Better than it sounds, A 16 year old girl moves to Forks from outside the books, only to find that it's not all as fictional as it seemed, and writes it all down. Contains adult themes like cutting and mild language. Set two years after Breaking Dawn.


My life should be perfect. Here are just ten reasons why.

1. I have a great group of friends and I would die for any one of them and vise versa.

2. I am able to deal with anything wrong in my life easily.

3. I am about to embark on a series of fundraising events which will ultimately bring me to paying for -

4. My trip of a lifetime next year.

5. I have a great social life and it can range from going to the cinema to just hanging out in the park and having a picnic.

6. I have a totally non-clingy boyfriend who's friends are hilarious.

7. School is a doddle and I'm always getting good grades.

8. I have a great Church and I am doing everything there I can.

9. My mum's really supportive whatever I do.

10. Curling up in my bed with a good book is comforting.

**Okay, so the last one wasn't **_**really **_**something which would generally make your life perfect, but for me... now i don't want to sound all Christian, but reading is a blessing to me. It's a way of escape from the world, into someone else's shoes. A way to see other ways of life.**

Now. I just spent a good ten minutes coming up with reasons why my life should be perfect.

The truth is... it's not, and these are just ten of the reasons why.

1. I have a great group of friends who all line at least twenty minutes away from me so it's almost impossible to meet up half the time.

2. I am a cutter.

3. I have no idea how I am meant to be able to raise all of the money for the trip.

4. None of my friends are going on the trip, they all decided to go next year _after_ I filled everything in, plus due to something I have absolutely no control over, I can't even go on it now.

5. I won't bother to pretend that I don't love my social life. It's great, but in truth it's just a reason to get out of the house as much as possible.

6. I have a totally non-clingy boyfriend, who's friends are hilarious up until a point when they're just down right racist and anti everything.

7. I have mini break downs in which I can't stop crying for minutes at a time worrying about every test imaginable.

8. I have a great church where I'm doing everything I can, and sometimes that's just too much considering I'm not even definate I'm a Christian anymore.

9. My mum's supportive to a point, then she talks about when she was young and got up to cool stuff, of course I can't do any of that.

10. Curling up in my bed with a good book is comforting. Now that you've read why my life _isn't_ quite so perfect, how about re-reading that paragraph in bold. Go on, I dare you.

Now it doesn't sound as good anymore does it? Ha! And it's not even as if i've even grazed the tip of the iceburg here! I know, I know, complaining will get me nowhere, and you're probably getting bored with my life story by now, but that's just what this is.

It's a story, and it's only just beginning, because if you want to know what's coming, the only real answer has to be A LOT, starting with the most momentous of all, and one I haven't mentioned before.

**Moving Day.**

"Christina!" I wipe the inevitable tears from my eyes and thank the lord that my face is one of those which doesn't puff up when I've been crying. "Christina!" The person calling? Oh that's just my mum, the person who decided just two short weeks ago that we were going to be moving for the first time in my life. Not somewhere accessible to my friends, but somewhere so far away that we won't even share continents anymore.

Did you know that there is another Washington apart from the one that's on the television every time something to do with the US of A is mentioned? I sure as hell didn't before I read a series of books called the 'Twilight Saga', but that's where I'm headed. At least it won't be as bad as 'sunny' old England where I've spent the first 16 years and ten hours of my life. Yeah, and I get to spend my 'Sweet Sixteen' on a plane.

"CHRISTINA!" Oh, I should go, or my mum will properly blow her top. I'll write later.

* * *

In the car. Surprisingly I kept my cool when my friends turned up to see me off. We're on the way to London City Airport, the closest one to us. We're dropping the car off there and getting the train from Liverpool Station via the DLR.

I'm looking out of the window, trying to take in the last of the scenery. To be honest, it's not the best part of London which we're moving from. As my friends told me when we were about to get into the car earlier - 'keep your eye out for the stuff from Twilight and get us pictures.' Great parting words, but what can you do?

The one parting message I will always treasure - 'Farewell , you bitch never come back 'cause you've broken my heart!' - Emma, my best friend. She was only joking and we both know 's the only person I felt close enough to to consider telling about my self harming, but when I tried i just cou-

I just got a text:

_**Hey, sry I cldn't mke it earlier, I gt hld up pantbll, **  
_

Yeah I know, it really shows how much I mean to my boyfriend of a year that he doesn't show up to say goodbye to me when I'm leaving for God knows how long doesn't it? I guess that really sums up the phrase _non-clingy_. The way he acts around me, i'm not even definate we're going out half the time, but of course everyone has an answer for that. It's either 'He's trying not to be needy' this, or 'He's distant because he loves you'. Come on, I ask you! How many times have you heard of someone being distant because they love someone too much.

I'm near the station now so the diary is going away. Mum says that she doesn't agree with them because they could get lost and you could have all your deepest darkest secrets spilt everywhere. To be honest, at this point as I'm moving away from everything and everyone i've

* * *

Sorry, had to get on the train, so where was I? Oh yeah.

and everyone i've ever known, to a small town which was slowly being deserted until Twilight came along, I literally can't give a shit about if some stranger knows my secrets. There aren't many to tell.

**_So, what d'you think? It's just a first chapter so it's not the best, I was just trying to set up the character and the backstory._**


End file.
